


It adds extra flavor, so it's fine

by meiishu



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: DONT TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY, F/F, Gen, Other, chaotic energy, farmer bants, if she wishes to, its pure comedy, multiplayer farm, no betas we die like men, posting on ao3 so she can share it, takes place during the summer at the luau, this is based on my friend and i's playthrough of stardew valley and a christmas gift for her!!!!, with the ppl who watch the stream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28248351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiishu/pseuds/meiishu
Summary: “Well think about it a little faster, the Luau is today, remember?!” Lovania nudges Teppi violently, and Teppi falls onto the floor with a comical PLOP-noise. “We have to enact our special plan.”“Our plan,” Teppi gets up and the sleep is gone from her eyes. She’s determined as she looks at her best friend, slapping her hands on the bed sheets. Lovania is giving Teppi an encouraging look, humming excitedly, brows rising to their hairline. “Our plan to put the mayor's shorts into the Luau pot?”(or: the story of two chaotic farmers and their nefarious plot to prank mayor lewis by putting his purple shorts into the luau pot every summer. you'd think he'd stop allowing them to participate already)
Relationships: Penny/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Nonbinary Player (Stardew Valley), there's implied lewis/marnie as well
Kudos: 10





	It adds extra flavor, so it's fine

**Author's Note:**

> this is a christmas gift for teri!!!!!!! I decided to immortalize some of our in-game banter into a (fan)fiction about our chaotic adventures streaming by making our farmer personas into characters! 
> 
> teppi represents teri, and lovania represents moi

“Are you awake yet?!” Lovania says. Their voice is so loud. It’s too early for this. 

“I’m thinking about the vague concept of being awake.” Teppi grumbles.

“Well think about it a little faster, the Luau is today, remember?!” Lovania nudges Teppi violently, and Teppi falls onto the floor with a comical PLOP-noise. “We have to enact our _special plan_.”

“Our _plan_ ,” Teppi gets up and the sleep is gone from her eyes. She’s determined as she looks at her best friend, slapping her hands on the bed sheets. Lovania is giving Teppi an encouraging look, humming excitedly, brows rising to their hairline. “Our plan to put the mayor's shorts into the Luau pot?”

“Actually we get to put two pairs of shorts in this year. Remember you unlocked Marnie’s bedroom during the Spring?”

  
“I DID!” Teppi is so excited. She gets up and holds her hands above her. Her walls are ugly, but at least she can’t change the ceiling from being its neutral brown. Her walls are sparkling with weird colors. None of them match. It’s like a goth teenager’s bedroom in this house. 

Lovania grabs their axe and leads the way outside. “What are you doing today?” 

“You know, I was thinking about finding a diamond or two before the Luau starts.” Teppi says. She hooks up her walkie-talkie, which the two use so they can travel all around Stardew Valley and still communicate with one another. “It just kind of sounds like a fun thing to do.”

“You and your fucking diamonds.” Lovania snaps, giving Teppi a _look_. Teppi just chuckles in amusement.

“You love me.”

“I’m debating it.” Lovania deadpans, hoisting their axe over their shoulder.

“You love me.” Teppi repeats.

“Hm. I don’t know about that.”

“You love -- “ Teppi uses her pickaxe to break a rock that was obstructing her plants. A glittering diamond falls out of it. Teppi stares at it, and Lovania’s eye starts to twitch. A manic grin crosses across Teppi’s face as she holds the diamond up. “LOOK! I found another diamond, Lovania!”

“Oh of _course_ you found another diamond,” Lovania makes their voice go high-pitched and nasally as they perform a crude imitation of Teppi’s tone. Teppi just cackles even harder as Lovania flips her the bird.

“Go fuck yourself!” Lovania snaps. They storm off, chugging a coffee to increase their speed, as Teppi begins a day of farming. 

Except Teppi gets bored, relatively quickly, of that. It’s just a lot of mundane, _break break break,_ same shit. The bombs she has in her inventory for the Skull Mines are on a belt on her hip, and suddenly, she gets a brilliant idea.

“Lovania, Lovania. Listen. Hey.”

  
_“What? What do you want?”_ Lovania says in return. They sound exasperated. Teppi can hear the sound of them walking on a grooved path. They must be up at the fish farm. It’s almost hysterical how much Lovania hates fishing but loves to peruse the fish ponds that they’ve cultivated. It’s probably because they’re easy to harvest and require little to no actual fishing work -- that was practically all Teppi did when they first moved here. Fish. 

“Don’t be mad at me.” Teppi says.

_“You know I hate it when you say that to me, because I know there’s a_ reason _I should be mad at you. What are you doing?”_

“Nothing! Don’t worry about it.” Teppi unhooks one of her bombs from her waistband. It’s a cherry bomb. It’s only a small bomb. It won’t do too much damage if her plan backfires on her. She puts it down and backs away. 

_“No no, I’m gonna worry about it.”_

“Nah, don’t even -- look, don’t even think about -- “ The cherry bomb detonates. There’s a flash of white and then a low rumble as the ground shakes. The farmland that Teppi needed to clear is all clear now! Now she doesn’t have to worry about clearing it herself! This was a total win for Teppi. 

Teppi looks to the left. She sees that Lovania’s deposit box and gate are broken. She squeezes her lips into a tight line.

Shit. 

_“Teppi! Teppi I HEARD THAT! What was that?!”_ Lovania is calling over the speaker. They’re pacing around, agitated. _“IF YOU FUCKED UP MY GREENHOUSE I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”_

“No no no! Don’t worry about it! It was nothing, totally, totally nothing!” Teppi can fix this. She can totally fix this before Lovania notices! She hastily collects all of the broken things -- she sees a truffle in the wreckage, and worries that a poor pig might have been caught in the crossfire -- just as Lovania stomps over. 

They look around. Teppi braces for the fight. Lovania’s eyes narrow as they take in the scene. Their house is no longer located in this corner -- the two friends had moved it once they got a steady flow of money and repurposed the area as their ‘animal land’ -- and Lovania doesn’t come here often. 

Lovania grabs Teppi’s shoulder and shoves her to the side roughly, scanning the area behind her. Teppi practically feels her heart stop as she watches Lovania examine the land. 

“What did you do?” They ask. 

“Haaaah?” Teppi is shocked that they didn’t notice. Flabbergasted. Bamboozled. “You don’t see -- “

“What don’t I see?!” Lovania looks at Teppi with fierce, violent eyes. “What. Don’t. I. _See_?!”

“Don’t even worry about it! It’s fine. It’s fine.” Teppi says, giving them a thumbs up and clapping them on the back. “You know what will make you feel better? A diamond. Here!” Teppi pulls one out of her inventory and offers it to Lovania as a consolation gift. 

Lovania narrows their eyes at it. 

“Why don’t you save _those_ for Penny,” they snap, “while I go make sure you didn’t blow up my greenhouse!”

And, with that, Lovania is off to enter the greenhouse. 

Teppi looks over to their chickens, cows, and various other animals, wiping her brow. “That was a close one. I don’t think they noticed anything was wrong at all. Huh, Red?”

RedPencil the chicken looks up at her, and lets out a confused “cluck”. But Teppi just kneels down and scratches the chicken on the head. 

The sun is brilliant today. It’s almost like fate, every single festival and dance always has gorgeous weather. It’s almost as though their whole world is programmed to not allow rain or snow to obstruct their celebrations. Teppi doesn’t spend too long thinking about that, though, as she focuses her energy on getting the eggs and milk from their animals and going to the workstation Lovania set up for them to get them harvested into mayonnaise and cheese. Teppi is appreciative of the workstation, and wouldn’t want anything to ever happen to it. 

She moves her arm to throw an egg into the mayonnaise machine and nearly puts a cherry bomb inside of it instead.

“OH SHIT OH SHI -- nevermind. That was a false alarm. That was a false alarm, guys!” Teppi says, to the animals who are all looking over the fence at her with concerned looks. Ellie the blue chicken looks the most non-pulsed, and is grooming Lauren the chicken instead of paying any attention to Teppi and her antics.  
  
_“WHAT WAS THAT?”_ Lovania asks, over the walkie-talkie.

“Nothing! You need not concern yourself with little old me.” Teppi says. She is careful this time to put eggs inside the mayonnaise machine, not bombs. She wonders what kind of mayonnaise bombs would create if they could be turned into mayonnaise. Maybe that’s how they make the _extra spicy_ kind of mayonnaise. 

_“What are you doing? Where are you?”_

“It’s fine. I just almost dropped a bomb inside the mayonnaise machine.”

_“You did WHAT -- “_

“I said _almost_! I didn’t actually do it.” Teppi says.

There’s a long-suffering sigh on the other end of the walkie-talkie. _“You’re going to be the death of me.”_

“Hey, at least I didn’t blow up the whole basement, filled with aged up wine, with a bomb.” Teppi says. 

_“That was when I was on my_ old _farm, Teppi. It’s not fair to bring that up now. I’m a changed person.”_

“I think it’s very fair for me to bring it up now, actually.” Teppi says. She walks towards the horses. They have two horses, named Malcolm and Rylie, after two very important people from their past. 

“Hey, I’m borrowing Malcolm.” Teppi says.

_“You have your own horse.”_ Lovania says. 

“Yeah, but I like riding Malcolm.”

Lovania sighs. _“Whatever. Just don’t forget to take the mayor’s shorts with you, the Luau starts at ten.”_

Teppi saddles up to Malcolm the horse, after grabbing the hideous purple shorts from the green bin they have located by Teppi’s house. Malcolm is wearing a straw hat and has a brown poncho on to protect him from the elements. He lets out a neigh as Teppi holds the reins and guides him onto the path. 

The air is clean in Stardew Valley. It’s a safe refuge from the city life Teppi came from. She passes by a few of the villagers, not paying anyone any mind until she sees Penny sitting underneath a tree, reading to Vincent and Jas.

Penny is gorgeous. She’s got red hair that ends just above her shoulders and the softest eyes Teppi has ever looked into. Teppi looked over at just the right time, because the sun shines down just right, and Penny brings a hand up to her forehead to shield her gaze. As she does so, she looks over and sees Teppi, and her eyes light up.

“Teppi! You look excited today!”

Teppi grins, opens her mouth to speak, but then is knocked off of Malcolm by a poorly placed sign. On it is a picture of the mayor’s purple shorts. She and Lovania have been strategically placing signs with the mayor’s shorts on them all over town in an effort to embarrass Lewis. Thus far, it’s been working, and they’ve received quite a few strongly worded letters about it in their mailboxes.

Teppi lands with a thud on the ground. Malcolm trots forward, a little bit, before he turns to look at Teppi with a confused look. 

“You’re so rude.” Teppi says, to the horse, but then she hears footsteps approaching her. Penny is over her, her arm outstretched, to help her up.

“That looked like it hurt. Are you okay? Should I take you over to Harvey's clinic?” 

Vincent and Jas stare blankly at Teppi, but Teppi only has eyes for Penny. 

“I -- I -- Well -- I -- “

“Can you move.” A gruff, annoyed voice says from behind them. Penny blinks and turns around. Teppi makes eye contact with Shane, who just raises his eyebrows.

“You fell off a horse?” He asks. 

  
“No, no. I _valiantly dove_ off of the horse. This and that are entirely different things, Shane.”

“Right.” Shane says. He sidesteps them to keep walking to wherever the hell it is Shane needs to go. Probably the Luau, which is starting in a few minutes. “Whatever.”

Teppi gives him a nasty look and sticks her tongue out when his back is turned. She turns on her walkie-talkie. 

“Lovania, your man’s a lil bitch.” She can see Shane tense a little bit farther up the walkway and smirks. Good. She’s glad he heard her. Shane keeps walking towards the beach, faster than before now. 

_“Whatchu sayin’ about my mans, Teppi?”_

“I said he’s a lil bitch.”

_“Yeah, and? That’s why I like him.”_ Lovania sounds like they’re in the middle of harvesting crops. They must be in the greenhouse. 

“Are you talking to Lovania?” Penny gives Teppi a smile. “Tell them I say hi!”

“My beautiful angel says hi, by the way.” Teppi says into the walkie-talkie. Penny blushes, and Vincent and Jas exchange looks before they start giggling. Teppi will never get bored of the way Penny’s face just lights up when she teases her. She’s beautiful when she blushes. 

_“Hi, Penny! Tell her I’ll see her at the Luau.”_

“Oh, Lovania says they’ll see you at the Luau.” Teppi reiterates the message. Penny beams. 

“We were going to start heading down there soon! Sam said he wanted to watch the waves.”

Teppi raises her eyebrow. “Sam, hm?”

Penny laughs. “As friends, of course.”

“I would hope so.” Teppi gives Penny a look, and she leans in, and she pecks her briefly on the lips. Then she mounts Malcolm again, bids Penny and the kids adieu, and goes back on her way. 

She can see the governor’s car, parked as it always is behind mayor Lewis’ truck. Honestly, she’s not sure why the governor keeps coming back. Each year, Teppi and Lovania pull the same prank. 

Teppi hears Rylie’s galloping before she hears Lovania’s yell. She turns to watch her friend approach. Lovania is straight up tearing through the village, practically standing up on the saddle. Teppi knows that it’s because Lovania desperately wants to appear taller than they actually are, but some things don’t need to be teased about. At least maybe not _right now_. Maybe after they’re done with the Luau prank, she’ll point out how ridiculous Lovania looks on Rylie. 

“The Governor's here already?” Lovania asks.

“He sure is. His ugly bright purple car is in Lewis’ driveway again. Do you think they’ll have beefed up security this year?” Teppi asks. 

“HAH. What do you mean, ‘security’? Is Alex gonna beat me up if he sees me holding _these_?” Lovania holds up one of their two pairs of Lewis’ shorts, stolen from Marnie’s room, snickering the whole time. “I could take Alex in a fight.”

Lovania is tiny. The only people in Stardew Valley they’re taller than are the kids. And Krobus. Alex towers over them. But honestly, Teppi would bet five hundred gold coins they’d still kick Alex’s ass. 

“They might employ Kent.” Teppi says.

“Aw shit. He’s actually tough.” They frown. 

“Well, we’ll just see how it goes. We might have to distract them.” Teppi says. The two friends dismount their horses and leave them by the entrance to the beach as they walk in, Lewis’ shorts hidden in their bags. 

* * *

Stardew’s Luau is beautiful. The beach is clear, the water is sparkling in the sun. Up on the docks, Willy’s shop is visible. It’s closed now, because Willy’s to the left of the beach, fishing. He’s chatting with Gus about something she can’t hear. Willy’s fishing, even during the Luau. Teppi respects that determination, as a fisher herself. 

The governor is there, talking to Lewis. He’s a heavyset man, wearing a long purple robe that makes him look like a wizard. The actual wizard might have words to say about that, but he never comes to the Luau. Teppi has asked, numerous times, for him to come. The wizard always says it’s ‘simply not in the cards this year’, or something to that effect. Maybe one day he’ll come join them.

“Well, we have until eleven to add the shorts to the stew,” Lovania says, looking at the watch they wear on their wrist. “It’s just past ten now. We can use these to make sure we can get the shorts in,” they tap the walkie-talkie radio they’ve still got on their ear and Teppi nods in agreement. “I’ll take your shorts and throw them in for you. You just warn me if the governor or Lewis seem to notice.”

“Right.” Teppi looks past Lovania, watching as Penny arrives at the venue with the kids. Her smile acquires a goofy, almost comical look. Lovania follows her gaze and rolls their eyes. 

  
“You’re so in love with her it’s almost obnoxious.” 

“Says the one who’s dating the most obnoxious guy in the village.”

“It was between him and Haley for me. We had a dramatic love triangle, you know. But he won me over in the end.” Lovania shrugs. 

“Why? How?” Teppi asks.  
  


“Love works in mysterious ways, Teppi.” 

“That’s a really fancy way of saying you have weird taste.” Teppi scrunches her nose up. “But, anyway, if you’ll excuse me, I have an angel to go and talk to.”

“And I have a garbage man to go annoy.” Lovania laughs, walking over to Shane who’s sitting across from the table from Marnie. They sling an arm across his shoulders and say something that makes him blush and nearly spit out his Joja Cola. 

And thus, their countdown begins.

Teppi is distracted by Penny for all of twenty minutes. She eventually coaxes Penny away from Sam on the shore of the beach, leaving him with Sebastian as she convinces Penny to dance with her. Teppi is so distracted by Penny that she almost forgets about their plot to sabotage the soup, until she hears Lovania’s voice in her ear. 

_“Am I clear? Teppi, tell me, am I in the clear?”_

Teppi pauses the dance and apologizes to Penny, who says it’s fine and looks back over towards Jaz and Vincent. 

“What are you talking about?”

_“The shorts. The whole shorts in the pot thing?! Remember?”_ Lovania hisses. _“I am in position to drop them, but I don’t want Lewis to see. Go distract him!”_

Teppi looks across the beach. She can see Lovania, hiding behind Elliott’s cottage, nudging their head violently towards Lewis. Lewis is gazing at the governor with such adoration in his eyes, if Teppi didn’t already know the man was desperately in love with Marnie, she’d think he was pining. 

Teppi walks over, and immediately Lewis narrows his eyes. He doesn’t trust either of the farmers very much, but he was very close with Teppi’s grandfather, who owned the farm in the first place. It’s not Teppi’s fault she’s so different from some old man she never even met! 

“Hey, Lewis! Hey, Governor!” Teppi says, giving them a captain’s salute. “Welcome back to Stardew Valley!” 

Lewis smiles, but it’s a tight-lipped thing. “And this is one of our farmers, Teppi! I’m sure you remember them! The two of them moved into old man Toad’s land two years ago. It’s hard to believe it’s really been two years, that they’ve been with us.”

“I know, it feels like we moved in just yesterday.” Teppi says. She can see behind Lewis and the governor, Lovania is trying to climb up the steps. Shane is giving them a confused look from where he sits at the table, but no one else seems to be watching them. It’s perfect, but Lovania is just too short to properly reach the pot, and stumbles on the latter.

  
“What was -- “

“Oh that was just Lovania tripping on Elliott’s steps HEY governor, you remember me and Lovania from last year right?” She asks. “Oh I remember we had a good time that year -- “

“I remember the stew tasted a bit funny -- “

“It was full of laughs, and dancing, and Penny and I had our first kiss -- “

“I remember getting sick the next morning -- “

“Oh the stew, the stew. It must have been some undercooked meat or something,” Teppi says, even though both she and Lewis know that it was the shorts.

“Or perhaps someone put something nutty in there. I am allergic, after all!” The governor laughs good naturedly. Teppi remembers the time Lewis had asked her and Lovania for some ‘discrete truffle oil’. She hopes Lewis doesn’t have a peanut butter kink too and that they don’t accidentally kill the governor. 

Lovania drops both of the shorts into the stew, and gives the pot a big stir to hide them deep in the broth. Well. It’s too little too late for that now! 

_“I got them in. I got it!”_ Lovania says, and thank god, Teppi thinks. She doesn’t want to make small talk with the governor and Lewis anymore. 

“Speaking of the stew!” Teppi says, “Is it ready yet?”

Lewis frowns and takes a few steps towards it. Not too far away from the pot, Lovania is hiding giggles while Shane shakes his head in annoyance. As Lewis calls everyone over for the annual sampling of the stew, Teppi finds her way back to Lovania’s side. 

Penny and the kids leave the dance floor and head over to the tables. Penny takes a seat beside Shane. The two of them were never friends before, and have nothing in common, except that their significant others are the farmers. It may be a friendship of circumstance between the two of them that has formed, but it’s a friendship nevertheless. Penny says something to Shane and he rolls his eyes, then gestures towards Lovania and Teppi.

  
Teppi grins, and waves back, but feels worried Penny might think of her differently after this. 

“Do you think they’ll be mad at us?” She asks.

Lovania rests their elbow on top of Teppi’s shoulder, and puts their other hand on their hip. 

“I don’t think so. I _hope_ not,” They press their lips together into a line. “Really, they shouldn’t expect any different from us.”

“I know, but if it makes them mad at us, what do we do?”

“Well, it’s too little too late to think about that now. They’re starting.” Lovania says. Lewis gives the two farms a questioning look, before he clears his throat, and addresses the beach at large. 

“Well folks, it’s once again time for the potluck ceremony!” Lewis says. “I trust that you’ve all put high quality ingredients into the pot this year. We don’t want the governor to regret his visit to the valley!”

“Oh _high quality_ , of course,” Lovania says, low enough that only Teppi can hear. It sends Teppi into a fit of giggles. “Nothing but the highest quality ingredients for the governor.” 

“How did we convince the governor to come back and be the first one to taste this soup?” Teppi whispers back. 

“Yeah, I dunno why he keeps coming back. We do the same thing every year.” Lovania says.

Lewis looks over at the governor. The clouds part and the sun shines directly on the boiling pot of soup. Teppi can see the shorts catch the light. Lovania snorts and has to bury their face in their friend’s shoulder to hide their laughter. 

“Well… Governor? Would you do us the honor of tasting the soup?” 

“Of course! I’ve been looking forward to this all year!” He says. 

“Why are you looking forward to this?!” Teppi whisper-yells, then she comes to a genius conclusion. “I think the governor is a little bit kinky. Like, I think he might be _into_ this.”

“I can’t watch this.” Lovania says, even though they’re decidedly not looking away and just grin as the governor takes a generous spoonful of soup. 

“Hmm… it’s a bit tangy, but actually, the flavor is quite good!”

“I think he likes the flavor of the mayor’s two-year-old taint.” Teppi says, and Lovania hides their face behind their hand. 

“Just one minute…” The governor continues, and Lovania’s eyes widen as they violently nudge Teppi and point to the shorts in the giant padel the governor had been drinking from. They’re soaked, covered in beef broth and bell peppers, a string of what looks like cheese covering the crotch. “There’s something in my bowl... What’s this?” 

The governor pulls out the shorts and drops the ladle. It falls dramatically into the sand. Lewis lets out a mortified yelp and Lovania and Teppi both have to bite on their hands to hide their laughter. The rest of the village looks confused -- Sam looks ecstatic, Vincent and Jas are howling with laughter, and Penny has her hands clamped to her mouth in horror. Shane’s eye is twitching, but so is his mouth, and if Teppi’s not mistaken it looks like he’s about ten seconds away from laughing. 

Marnie lets out a gasp -- Teppi had almost forgotten she’d be just as mortified as Lewis, too, given that the last time she saw those shorts they were on her floor. 

The governor stares, the shorts in his hands. His face is starting to look green. 

“This… This is outrageous! I’ve never been so insulted in my entire life!” 

“Okay he’s _saying_ that, but look at his face, he looks kind of into it.” Teppi mutters.

“Oh holy shit.” Lovania has tears in their eyes. 

The governor throws the shorts to the ground and clutches his hands to his face, looking like he’s going to hurl. 

“Blegh… my tongue is swelling up… I think I’m going to be sick.” 

“Sir, come with me, I can get you some water and you can lie down.” Elliott says, coming over to the governor’s side. He guides the nauseous governor to his cabin and Teppi rolls her eyes. 

“Kiss-ass.”

Lovania just points to Lewis, who has his back turned on the town, and his hands clenched into fists at his sides. The clouds have shifted and now the beach is surrounded by darkness. 

“Whoever took part in this appalling act is truly reprehensible. Using my very private item for this sick purpose!” Lewis says. “And to ruin a perfectly good soup… unforgivable! I’ve never been more ashamed of this community… Truly disgusting.”

“Can I just say Lewis did not need to call himself out like that? Like, no one was saying those were _his_ shorts.” Teppi says. 

“Exactly. He could’ve just played dumb.” Lovania says. 

“Go home. The festival is over.” Lewis says, and his tone is final. 

* * *

“I can’t believe that worked.” Lovania says.

“I can’t believe you two did that.” Penny says. 

“I _can_ believe they did that,” Shane says, giving Penny a pointed look, “Do you even _know_ the people we’re dating?” 

Teppi is howling with laughter. She and Lovania haven’t stopped laughing since they got back to the farm. Currently the four of them are inside Teppi’s house before they go their separate ways for the night. With the Luau over, that means summer is halfway over, too. But Lewis will probably be seething about that one for a while. 

“You think he’s taken down the signs we put up in the town square yet?” Lovania asks. 

“He 100 percent did that the second we left the beach. I think he burned them, too.” Teppi says. 

“I feel kind of bad for him.” Penny says. 

  
“Don’t feel too bad for him. He’s the one who asked us to find his shorts in the first place. Like, why couldn’t he just call Marnie up and be like,” Lovania takes on a dramatically low-pitched voice, as well as a dramatic expression on their face to imitate Lewis. “Hey babe, I think I left my shorts at your place, can I have them back _?_ But Instead, he was like, ‘hey new farmers, can you sneak into my fuckbuddy’s house and steal my shorts off of her floor’?”

Shane makes a face. “I don’t want to think about my aunt and Lewis sleeping together.”

“Well they are, so get used to it, chickenbutt.” Lovania says. Shane just opens another Joja Cola and rests his elbow on the kitchen table. Teppi’s house is hideous, with walls that sparkle from the lights on the shitty lamp by the stairs. It’s hideous, but it’s home, and more often than not Teppi’s woken up with Lovania snuggled up beside her in bed, so she knows Lovania can’t hate it _too_ much. 

“We’re gonna get hate mail in the morning.” Teppi says.

“It’s worth it, though.” Lovania slams their drink on the table. Penny tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and turns towards Teppi, who gives her a small smile. The shitty lighting from the cheap lamp isn’t flattering on most people, but it just casts yellow highlights across Penny’s flushed cheeks. 

Teppi turns towards Lovania and gives them a look. Lovania meets her gaze, and their eyes flicker between Teppi and Penny. Then they smirk and grab Shane by the hand.

“Okay, I can see we’ve overstayed our welcome.” They say.

“What? But we just got here -- “

“Nah, chickenbutt, we need to get going. Teppi’s got some other plans to celebrate the evening.” Lovania tugs Shane up out of his seat at the table. He leaves the soda, and Teppi makes a face. 

“You’re really gonna leave the soda on my table, Shane?”

“You leave pizza boxes here all the time.” He replies. 

“Consider it a donation!” Lovania says, tugging Shane more aggressively out the door. He nearly trips at the stairs, and Lovania throws their head back in laughter. They lace their fingers with Shane’s.

“See you tomorrow, Teppi.” Lovania gives their friend a smile, pointedly reaching up to turn off their earbud for the night. Teppi grins back. 

“See ya tomorrow. Bright and early -- I gotta find all those diamonds for you, don’t I?”

Lovania flips her off as they kick the door shut. Even Shane barks out a laugh, and what sounds like a grunt of pain from an elbow to the side. Penny is laughing as she listens to the other couple retreat up the cobblestone path, heading towards Lovania’s smaller cabin.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!
> 
> [a video clip of the Luau scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xikr53effiQ)


End file.
